Friday, February 12, 2010

Time is something that is constantly on my mind.  It sits on the walls of this house.  It rests on my wrist.  I hold it in my pocket. When I get to school I look to the wall to find it.
It has it's way of controlling me. 
In the morning I wake up because of it.  When I am on my way to class it makes me run.  
Time is honestly one of my biggest fears.  I live by it and it controls me.
I hate looking for things. 
I have a big problem with losing things.  
I constantly get lost when I am going places.
Which means that I am constantly searching.
At this age apparently I should be looking for someone?(At least that's what people say. I beg to differ)
But that isn't all. I am not only searching for physical things.
I have this ongoing quest to find what I need to do with my life.
This endless journey of becoming who I should be.
A need to find some sort of meaning and reason for existing.
But why?
Why do I fear time when it is just falling through my fingertips?
Why do I search for meaning when living should mean everything?
I try to search for all of these things, but I end up being idle.
Doing nothing. Which is even worse.
Because I am simply fading away with time.

I realized something today.
I don't have to know everything right now.
It is important to appreciate the little things in life.

Things like hot cocoa in my Santa Claus mug.

 Playing in the snow in shorts.

Playing with animals.

And looking at the beauty that surrounds us.

Today I was dropping off a job application and the place I was going to wasn't opened yet. I ended up waiting outside for a little while with 2 really nice ladies.  I asked them what they were getting and stuff...they were both buying stuff for their kids.  They asked what I was getting I told them that I have been trying to get a job and was dropping off an application.  They were really nice and wished me the best.  After we talked for awhile we got in and I handed in my application.  As I was walking to the door one of the ladies stopped me and gave me this huge encouraging smile and said, "Good luck to you!".

It was the simplest 4 words, but they made my entire day because of the sincerity behind them. Needless to say...talking to strangers seems to be the biggest encouragement in my life lately.  
I feel like God has been putting new, random people and some old friends in my life to give me some direction and encouragement.  God it good.  

Don't forget to appreciate the little things in life!

~Janey Lu

Saturday, February 6, 2010


Some people are so beautiful.
The greatest shame is that that don't know it.

The beauty they posses is not always outward.
I have come to realize that very few people are really outwardly beautiful... Of course that is according to the standard of our deceitful eyes.

It seems that the people I have come to meet and get to know who I would consider to be "beautiful" disappoint me as I talk to them.
I don't mean to judge.  It just happens...we all do it.
But some people seem to be a disappointment.
The people we never expect to learn a thing from seem to be the ones who teach us the most.

For instance there is a girl in one of my classes and to be honest when I saw her I felt bad for her.  She didn't really talk to anyone and no one sat to close to her.  Her face was hidden behind glasses.  She sort of wobbled around dropping her things as she made it into the classroom.  The professor seemed to treat her as if she were slow.  At first glance it is easy to assume that she is.  (I know very harsh...but I have to be honest) 
There was something about her and the way she sat in the very back of the classroom and stared at the board in a blank stare as the professor wrote down notes.  Little did I know she is like a sponge literally absorbing everything the professor says.  The only time I heard her talk was when another student addressed her, and she spoke with a loud voice and something I guess I would have call a lisp maybe?  But when the professor asked a question she was the 1st to raise her hand and she had this extremely detailed answer with words that made me scratch my head.  I was amazed, this girl who many thought to be slow turned out to be somewhat knowledgeable.  
But that wasn't the only thing that got me.  Her knowledge is something she really works on...and that inspires me.  Now whenever I see her I can't help but wonder how she is doing, how her classes are going...etc... To be honest. I would really like to be her friend.  Because after looking a little bit closer it became easier to see beauty in her.

I can't help but laugh when some of the most attractive people end up being jerks (no offense to you if you find yourself to be extremely attractive.  I am sure you are a very nice person ;) and hey we should be friends!) 

But yes. I would never want someone to think I walk around and mentally judge people on their looks...I don't.  I just tend to over analyze body language...I don't know maybe that is judgmental. That's not the point.
The point of is simple.  There is more to a person than what you see on the outside.  If we we stop looking at people with our eyes and start looking at people with our heart maybe life will be easier.
Continuing on...

This is what I do on weekends.
I think this is a lovely picture of AppleMac (yes I did name my laptop).

As for a life update...
Janey Lu does not talk to enough people.
Is terrible at being a friend to people.
Is working on everything.
Plans on giving more high fives and thumbs up.
Why? Well just because.
She is working on a lot of cool things.
Learning a lot of things about herself.
Taking endless journeys.
Finds a lot of really good music lately.
Probably reads to much and talks to little.
But overall life is good.
She can't complain. Even though she does.

Something random that I think is funny.
This random cashier dude at Meijer that I talk to sometimes was bagging groceries.  A really old lady walks by (in old lady slow motion) he looks at her and smiles and says "Hey ma'am, whats up!"  She gave him the weirdest look ever and walks away faster.  
I laughed out loud.
...I guess that wasn't that funny...I guess you (whoever you are) had to of been there.

I didn't have anything that great to say, but if you made it this far and you actually read this entire thing then you are probably a stalker or you want to be my friend.  Well maybe not. 
But hey here is a virtual hug! (*Hugs*) 
Thanks for reading :D

~Janey Lu