Thursday, September 30, 2010

So it's been a while.

Blogging... who would have thought I would ever come back.
But I guess life is what it is and I feel like sharing what it has been to me.
First of all maybe I should come right out and explain why I haven't blogged.
Moment of truth? Alright. Being censored. Yes, that's my answer. The truth is that in the past 3-4 years of my life I have been a closed book and there aren't many people who I would be willing to be open with.
Blogging for all of these people who think they know me just isn't appealing. Because maybe I am somebody else.
Anyways. I doubt anyone cares about that.
So moving on to the other stuff that people probably don't care about.
Life. Interesting to see how many people take it for granted.

Right now I am just living.
People have asked me why I'm not in a relationship. "Janey! Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
Umm... Well I'm simply not looking. At all. I don't know where I need to be in life and I rather not have an attachment. I've seen it go badly far to many times.

Moving on. Age. Everyone seems to ask me my age lately. I don't mind.
But it's insane. "What high school do you go to? When do you graduated? Are you starting college yet? You look 14. Are you like 20?" It just goes on and on. As I get older and older I realize age is irrelevant.

Moving on some more. This all has a point. Really.
Last weekend I was staying in a hotel. It was nice. Nice to be out of the house. Nice to be in a place that felt well different.
I had an amazing weekend. Met a lot of amazing/interesting people. Learned a lot. Saw the sunrise a few times. It was great. I had 4 hours of sleep but stayed up late and just wrote. It. Felt. So. Good.
Hotel room, shining stars, music, and words. Excellent.
I found that talking with people is a gateway to knowledge. Different people, stories, and advice.
Life is good.

Then the other night I talked to this lady.  I guess she is kind of a family friend.
She is what most people would call "very rich", but she told me about how hard life had been. And all I could think about is...Money doesn't make us happy. She told me age is nothing, maturity is what is important. She told me that I needed to find what I love explore it and spend my life doing it and moving forward doing things I love. But make wise, mature decisions. I'm learning. Learning a lot.

The story is longer, deeper, but I'm just not feeling this whole blog thing.
Basically. I don't blog anymore.
Life is good. Life is beautiful.
I am looking to grow. I'm on this constant search for beautiful things.
Living, breathing, is all good. I don't want to waste a moment of it.

I'm sorry this isn't very personal this isn't very "Janey-like" but then again how can one person be defined?
I won't avoid it, I think this is good bye.
Blogging is great to a certain extent. I love writing, just not like this not for some of these people.
No texting, no blogging, almost got rid of face book. Maybe I've become boring.
But right now I feel really alive.

Good bye blog readers.