Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Do you ever feel trapped?

Trapped in insecurities.
Locked up in your own doubt.
Caught up in lies.
Lost in other people's expectations.

After a while you just lose all connection.
You fall out of orbit with all of your friends.
All because of a fall out. 
Or a let down.
After it all happens.
You forget who you are.

You wake up and look in the mirror.
The reflection in front of you is a mess.

The person you see is a stranger.
The reflection is empty and tired.
The look never goes away.
The look of sadness.
This reflection is what you have become.

You forget who you use to be.
And now this is you.
An unhappy mess.

Have you been there?
Maybe it is just me...
But more than ever.
Life has felt like an adventure.
There are so many people along the way.

Some people are there to get in your way.
Those people are the dead ends that don't deserve our time.
But they teach you a lot.
The lessons they give.
And the pain they cause.
Makes us who we are.
No matter how difficult it is.
They are there for a reason.

Other people are there to help you out.
I am fully convinced that God purposely puts these people in our lives.
To give us direction.
To pull us back into sanity.
And to show that friendships are important.
And people can be trusted.
These are the people who in a way seem to good to be true.
But believe or not they are real.

Some people need some help.
They are the ones that might be hurting.
Even though no one else sees it.
You might be there to help.

They would never ask for help.
But sometimes you can hear there silent screams.
There eyes betray them and reveal the pain they hold inside.
We come in contact with them to give them some comfort.
And hopefully to make their life a little bit better.

I guess the point is...
I was there.
To the point that no one else mattered.
I did not want to be involved in anyone's life.
And I wanted them to stay out of mine.
I didn't trust anyone.
And I was okay with that.
But it was not good for me.
And I know that now...

It really is okay to fall down...
To separate yourself from all reality.
To get hurt and feel the pain.

But you have to get up.
Get back into reality.
Let the pain go away.
And move on.

This is how we learn.
This is how we grow.
This is how we become who we are. 
So don't give up.
Keep going.

 ~Janey Lu