Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Spring Break...SpRiNg BrEaK...SPRING BREAK!!
I guess no matter how you say it Spring Break is just Spring Break.
I haven't been doing much.  As far as Spring Break goes I guess I have been really busy but not busy at all. 

Lately I try to read.  But sleepy eyes win.
Try to write.  This crazy brain has a million of great words... just no order to put them in.
Try to figure out what to do with my life.  It makes me feel depressed.
I think about all of my great friends I have.  It makes me feel sad.
I think about the past.  I feel indifferent.
Think about the present.  I ignore it.
Think about the future.  And I can't. 
I'll strum my guitar maybe sing or hum some of the songs I have sorta written.  But it is always the same.
Same old same old... very NOT interesting.
I have been taking pictures of things... not very good picture.
All in all if you asked me how I was doing I would smile and say.  "Great, just great!"

The other day I was at Meijer, Mom told me to buy anything I wanted.  I decided that pears sounded wonderful...out of everything I could have got I settled on pears...weird...anyways.  I stood looking at the green pears for about 5 minutes.  I picked up about 30 different ones and only grabbed 2.  I looked behind me and this guy with this girl (about my age) were both giving me this crazy look.  Something that whispered to me "Look at that crazy girl with the pears..."  But for some reason I really didn't care.  I actually smiled a little and almost laughed out loud because... I really didn't care what they thought.  I didn't walk away with pink cheeks thinking about how I looked like a fool.  I simply did not care at all.  It was weird.

I feel like everything that I have said is pretty negative.  Maybe you are right.

But I feel like I am on the edge.  
The edge of something great.  
Something completely unknown.  
Something lovely.  
Something I need right now.

There is also something different.
Something else that is happening.
Something good.
Something that makes me close my eyes.
Makes me smile.
Pulls the strings of my heart.
Makes my heart beat faster and louder.
It forces me into action
It forces me to explore.
It makes me want to do something.
It's inspiration.

I feel inspired by a lot of things.
People. Nature. Songs. Books. Pictures. Poetry. Life. Love. Relationships.
The list is endless...

Not very interesting.  I know.

But to end on a simpler note.
I like my shoes and they were dirty so I cleaned them.

If you have shoes that you like and they are dirty.  Then you should think about cleaning them.

If you want to look at this in a deeper way I would say.
The trails of life you walk through may give your eyes beauty, but look at your shoes.
They must be dirty from the filth and troubles you walked through to reach that beauty.
Why don't you clean them?
~Janey Lu