Monday, April 5, 2010

So this is how it all started...

"Walking around campus is soo boring... They should get like a play place or something..."  I said half joking.
She looked at me like I was ridiculous.  "A play place?"  
"Umm... yes. Like a play place."
"What are you five?!?"  She glared at me, trying to shoot me down.
I didn't know how to react, it just came out. "Actually. Yes, I am five."

Walking the hallways at Delta.
I see a little girl.  Like a miniature kid, but not a baby.  Anyways she walked in front of me...
"Hello!"  She waved and smiled this huge smile radiating innocence.
I suppose someone should tell her NOT to talk to strangers...

But this is not where it ended. 
In Kmart, getting lots of candy.  Like a five year old.
"Sponge Bob Square Pants!  Sponge Bob Square Pants!"  The little boy yelled while jumping up and down with excitement.
"Shhhh...You stop it right now!"  His mother scolded.

So okay...what is the point of all of these random stories?
Well okay.
I realized today that I am no longer a five year old.  And you might think, "Great! It's about time you figured that out.  You are about to turn 19!"  And I think you are wrong!
I should be a five year old

Which brings me to confession time.
I am a hermit.  Avoiding people and awkward situations has become like walking, I do it all the time, sometimes I don't even notice.  I stop dreaming, because well I just can't afford to dream.  I stopped trusting others.  I don't show off the things I love.  I'm skinny but very very out of shape, but I am not motivated.

And how did I realize this?
Well the reasons are simple.  Why shouldn't I be a five year old?
When did we stop wanting to climb trees and play in the play place in Mcdonalds?
When did we stop smiling and waving at strangers?
When did we stop yelling about the things that make up happy?
When did we loose the excitement that we once had when we were young? 
Maybe it is because we are always told to "settle down", "be quiet", "you aren't smart enough", "you could never do that!"

Now the girl who asked me if I was five, in her defense she doesn't know me.  At all, but not to be mean, but I think she grew up a little bit too fast.  

So I am turning 19 soon.  And that scares me.  I hate it. Alot.
But I'm done growing up.
I'm going to start growing down.
If a five year old can be more honest about their feeling then a 19 year old...then I think that is sad.

It just so happens that I like climbing trees, and smiling and waving at strangers, and yelling about the things I love is something I don't do enough.  Also I am going to start working out tomorrow.

So yes, I am five.
I don't want become one of those college kids who are uptight and don't know what it means to be passionate about something.  Life is the most beautiful thing we will experience on this earth.Becoming consumed in lifeless routines and worries about the future will kill me.
Geez... I am almost 19, I'm not going to waste my life being lame.

I think that says it all.
No pictures.  Sorry.

You should be five.

~Janey Lu


  1. I'll be 5 with you, Janey :)
    Now, off to the park by Wal-mart!

  2. Oh my goodness! That was soo much fun!
    :D We have to get David so he can buy up Sour Patch Kids.

  3. Yes!! Good thinking!!! And then tennis. :)